Apple finally figured out what the fuck its Watch is for


This is adapted from Plugged In, TNW’s bi-weekly newsletter on gear and gadgets. Subscribe to it (and our other great newsletters) here.

Apple revealed something interesting last week. No, not the products themselves (although I found those totally acceptable), but how they presented one of them.

What I’m saying is Apple finally figured out what the fuck its Watch is for. A task, friends, that only took it five years.

Let’s think about that for a moment. Five years. That’s longer than the World Cup cycle (that reference is for all you ‘football’ people out there, hope you enjoyed it). That’s about half the time the Beatles were a band for, a period that’s actually shorter than their evolution from the Please Please Me-era boys-next-door-whose-mom-cuts-their-hair to the oh-my-god-I-am-so-high-Ringo-get-down-from-the-ceiling days of Magical Mystery Tour. 

During those five years, 62 generations of houseflies have lived, thrived, and perished. And that, friends, is how long it took for Apple to realize its Watch is a health and fitness tool. Which is an improvement over what it was before.